You will be pleased to hear that I made up for yesterday's faux pas when I saw my friend again today.
'I'm sorry I said you've got fat,' I said. 'Because obviously you aren't fat.'
This seemed slightly inadequate as an explanation. However he brushed the whole incident away as something he hadn't dwelled on.
I wasn't happy with this.
'It's just that you used to cadaverous, skeletal,' I explained, 'and now you look normal.'
He drew attention to his bulging tum.
'No!' I said, 'you are sticking your tummy out! You are normal!'
I then went on to compare him to a bloated spider crouching at the centre of a web of money. I don't think he can have been offended by that though.