At about 5 am there was a noise that I chose to interpret as a torrent of water suddenly plummeting through a hole in the roof, but having gone up in the loft this morning, it turns out it wasn’t any such thing. I don’t know what it was. Maybe the ravens of the Tower of London pausing briefly on their way between London and Odin’s shoulders and making a blooming racket in their whole pausiness.
One of the things my mind was dwelling on during the night was the question of whether I should run the London Marathon this year. The answer clearly is no, but given my belief in my soon to be revealed superpowers, maybe I should exert them in some useful way?
My employer, you see, being a big charity, gets a few places in the marathon each year and offers them to its staff members so they can do some fundraising. And have I mentioned that I’ve got a weight loss target to hit? Training for a marathon might just help reach that target. I s’pose.
But then, the marathon is one weekend in April and this causes a potential clash.
What if the Great British Bake Off 2015 starts filming around about the same time? Bearing in mind that when Denise and I went to see Paul Hollywood – Bread and Loving It! – Live! (I can’t remember what the show was called but probably something like that) he said that they had already started filming and that was in mid May.
Can I risk it?
Because sod’s law would be that I would get to run the marathon and get a lot of sponsorship and then I would have to choose between running the marathon and being on the Bake Off. Even though, at the moment, it is clearly going to be easier for me to get a place on the marathon than it is to get on the Bake Off.
These are the kind of things I worry about in the middle of the night.
As it is, when I went to the gym this morning, with the intention of running 5km in 35 minutes, I only managed 3km in 30 minutes. So at a rough calculation that would take me 7 hours to run a marathon, if I could even run for that long.
I think I’ve more hope of getting on Bake Off than running a marathon after all. I know where my strengths lie!
So I’ve started filling out the application form.
And despite what the title says, I'm not making a Snickers Cake. I hate peanuts.