Oh my! I can remember the day I knew, for sure, that I was going bald.
Yesterday I was walking back from the gym and I was thinking about things about my body that I would like to be different but that will never be different.
Obviously yesterday wasn't the day I realised I was going bald. I think that when I was at university or possibly just after I had left, my friends would mention that I was a bit thin on top and I would laugh it off, thinking they were just winding me up.
But then, one autumn morning in 1998 I was visiting a friend in Birmingham. We had become friends while on an Open University summer and she had invited me and a couple of other people for a night out in Solihull to celebrate the end of the course. I stayed in her spare bedroom and in the morning I went into the bathroom to perform my ablutions. The bathroom faced east and the sun was rising. As I looked into the mirror on the unfamiliar east-facing windowsill I was dazzled by the reflection of the sunlight of my shiny balding head!
Click on this link for my reaction.
I've come to terms with my baldness over the years by essentially maintaining a self image which features a full head of hair and by avoiding mirrors like a man who doesn't want to admit he has no vampire on the back of his head. (I realise that that makes no sense whatsoever)
And baldness is something that I can't change, not without surgery, and really what's the point?
Being fat, I can change, no surgery necessary so I'll go for that.
But the thing I wanted to change, other than having the ability to grow a beard like Action Man, is my height. When I was a child I was the tallest in my class at primary school. And then at secondary school everybody overtook me. I felt very bitter about it at the time. Luckily I very rarely remain bitter about anything for years and years and years. And years and years. So I will always be this tall.
And I can't do much about that.
Or can I?
When I drive to work in the morning I have to adjust my rear view mirror. Overnight I have grown by a couple of centimetres at least. My spine is compressed during the day by the weight of my body and I have to readjust the mirror on the way home.
If I lose weight, maybe I will grow a few cm. And maybe I will walk a little bit taller.
And maybe, one day, the winds at this lofty height will blow through my full head of hair.