I am being fairly relaxed about my diet while on holiday. Relaxed to the extent that, although I know I'm overeating, I also have three safety nets. Safety nets that were purchased from Argos and have an annoying health and safety message attached to them which says, "Not suitable for persons over 15 stone. That means you fatso! Aagh, get off!"
I never know whether I should take these messages entirely seriously. I mean, I am extremely risk averse - to the extent that I have no idea when, for example, just to pluck an example out of the air, completely at random, Denise and I will take the plunge and sell our house and buy a nice little fixer-upper in the north of France (when I say "no idea" this is not strictly true - I know exactly when - it will be on the day that hell installs a nice air conditioning unit and starts handing out mini-milks)
I can't think of any further great, non boring, examples of risk aversion. Strangely I am aware that when it comes to my tongue I have history of being entirely risk prone. As a child, I tested whether leads were live by touching them to my tongue (they usually were). I once tested whether a knife was hot enough to melt rubber by touching it to my tongue. I once...
You get the idea. Add it's not like I have an asbestos, super resistant tongue. All of those things hurt, and every time I did them I regretted my action.
If you are curious as to why I needed a knife hot enough to melt rubber, I had read that the way to fix holes in the soles of Doc Martin boots was to use a hot knife to melt the rubber and then allow it to reseal as it cooled down.
So, generally risk averse. And when a ladder tells me that it isn't built for my weight, I generally pay attention. But not when it's a choice between me or Denise going up the ladder like it was when our roof was leaking earlier this year. The ladder can definitely take Denise's weight but I couldn't cope with the trauma if I allowed her to fall off the ladder. That guilt would be beyond anything I can achieve through this diet/sponsorship thing. Also, if anyone is having time off work with a broken leg, it's me.
Because we don't have a safety net suitable for either of us to fall off a ladder onto.
Phew, wrestled that back to the subject in hand.
My holiday safety nets are:
1. We are not having elevenses or afternoon teas. We are just having normal meals and if we stop at tea shops we are just having tea. That's what a tea shop is for. No tea and cake shops.
2. At the mealtimes I'm trying not to go crazy and at least try not to eat and eat and eat. Not always succeeding but on balance I'm doing okay
3. My diets have been broken by holidays before. I've got home and failed to get back into the swing. But I've got a blog to report into and I'm not doing my diet in a vacuum. So when we get home, even if I've gained weight, I will just get back into the routine.
It is all going to be just fine!
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