Myself and one of my colleagues at work (that would be the excellent Sarah, who has sponsored me, and on a side note a big "Thank you!" to Denise's friend Olly for sponsoring me - it's never too late everybody else, just follow the link) have a bit of competitive hypochondria going on.
Or rather, I should say that Sarah is always going on about things that are wrong with her which blah blah blah whereas I have a serious litany of health issues which she never takes seriously! Or is it the other way round? Oh yes, it is.
So every so often I'll tell her about how my arm felt a bit numb so I thought I was having a heart attack, or various other things which I suddenly feel uncomfortable talking about because I feel like I'm joking about serious health problems. I need to relax more!
And sometimes I'll go past her and mention an ache or pain and she'll say 'Heart attack?' Or "Brain tumour?" And we'll laugh our little socks off. Ha
So, I was just examining an animal at work last year. It was a German shepherd dog and it had just come in for a vaccination. It was a nice dog, but as I was reading something about it on the computer screen, I felt a bit of pain in my chest. I had to leave the room to get something and I passed Sarah and said, "Got a bit of pain here?"
"Heart attack?" she asked.
I waved this suggestion away, but as I headed back to the room the pain felt worse. And before I got back into the room I turned on my heel and went back to her and said, with tears in my eyes, "Actually, it really hurts in my chest."
My recollection of this event may not be accurate and if Sarah would like to add any details I forget, please let me know.
All I remember is it was horrible because, for all I knew, I was having a heart attack...
Sarah says that I had gone a funny colour, grey and sweaty. Sweaty isn't that unusual for a fatty like me in our hot consulting rooms but usually I'm florid rather than grey.
Immediately everybody rallied round. Got me a chair. Got me a glass of water. Lots of people were very worried about me.
(A few days later, after a couple of people had been on a first aid course, we discovered that all these immediate reactions were completely inappropriate!)
I felt terrible!
Bloody hell, I was having a heart attack!
And is abandoned a client and his dog in the consulting room. What would they think of me?
Though back to point 1 - having a bloody heart attack, feeling terrible, not wanting people to fuss because probably not a heart attack probably heartburn.
But also convincing myself that it was a heart attack.
Luckily at this point somebody decided I should have some medical attention...
(To be continued)