Day 34: the political diet

Not that any of the major political leaders in the UK are noticeably fat, but I was hoping to present you with details of the BMIs of our lords and masters so that you could judge them just like we judge every person in the public eye. Instead I shall have to run through some of the facts and figures based on what we know they eat and drink...

I should mention that this may be short on facts and figures...

And in the interests of fairness I am going to randomly select the order in which I do this. I have eight bits of paper and the internet has kindly furnished me with the names of the top 8 political parties in the UK (which I have adjusted in order to turn it into parties I have heard of - which is a terrible thing to do, I know, but this is my blog so push off)

So the random party generator has asked me to begin with....the Labour Party and Ed Miliband.

Ed is 5ft 11 and a half inches. I can't find any details of his weight on the internet so I am going to assume he is slap in the middle of the ideal BMI for that height so he is...

12 stone.

For breakfast he eats...

...a bacon sandwich and an empty cup. I'm going to guess he had a cup of coffee because that's what all the metropolitan elite have (as do I because I aspire to eliteness) It looks like quite a chunky sandwich but the coffee doesn't look like a latte, may even just be a cup of tea, so I'm going to assign Ed 500kcal for breakfast.

Apparently the second kitchen in Ed's house is used for just tea and snacks...

Ah, the uncomfortable silence when you are trying to think of something to say...

So, I'm going to assume, for no good reason, that Ed has 3 cups of tea (20kcal each) per day and with each of them he eats a chocolate hobnob (79kcal each) I'm going to round this to 240kcal on snacks per day.

What does Ed eat for lunch?

Does Ed Balls need that extra mouth he has had inserted into his chin?

Well, assuming that Ed Balls hasn't taken his two friends into Greggs so it will look like he is buying everybody pasties rather than just 3 for himself, Ed Miliband has a Cornish Pasty for lunch (509kcal)  and he probably has a Belgian bun (406kcal) as well.

And finally we turn to dinner. I'm assuming that Ed has 2 glasses of red wine (250kcal) with his dinner. And assuming that his favourite dinner is the same as that of his fans on YouGov, then Ed sits dinner to a lovely Vegetarian Thali (922kcal according to myFitnessPal) and as his fans really like Sheeps Yoghurt I'm going to assume that's what he has for pudding... 

(190kcal)!

So Ed's total calorie intake for the day is...

3017kcal.

Does Ed do any exercise?

Assuming he's a busy man but he manages to fit in the required 30 minutes staggering per day, we can subtract 335kcal (I'm assuming that staggering is like slow running) so we are at 2682 kcal per day...

So 1 year from now, according to website Losertown, Ed Miliband will weigh (and bear in mind that this may be affected by whether or not he becomes the next prime minister) 15 stone and 11 pounds.

And this is all FACTs my friends!