One of the reasons I have set my goal weight for 15 stone, rather than the 12 st 11lbs recommended by the NHS is that I have a fear that, as my body deflates, I will end up wearing a saggy belly and saggy moobs on the front of my body, a saggy arse down the back, and an amazing pair of wings dangling from my arms. None of these would be a good look.
Will I be like the old man in Liverpool? Not everybody has the chutzpah to carry off the look of khaki shorts no matter what the weather.
Apologies if this picture is ever so slightly disturbing! Believe me, it could have been worse. There was no t-shirt in the original version, and I added shorts to make it clear that something is worn under the fleshy kilt. I made the arms a bit less wing-like as well, hence the slightly obvious marks where I've used an eraser. The original is truly hideous!
Of course this will probably defeat my secondary plan which I must explain in order to account for the bizarre pose in the image above. My secondary theory has long been that, in carrying all this fat around, I must be quite extraordinarily fit - it is a lot of weight I lug around each and every day. So, once I got down to my ideal weight I would almost certainly have astonishing athletic prowess. To the degree that I suspect Mr Usain Bolt would have some trouble holding onto his crown.
He'd probably be all right though. All those flaps of skin would create a lot of wind resistance.