Which is to say that I didn't get round to writing a blog yesterday so I'm writing yesterday's blog today, which is a bit like writing today's blog tomorrow, hence I am writing to you from the future. At some level this makes sense.
So, I can hear you asking, how is the future?
Stereotypically, we have got personal rocket packs which we use to commute to work. But because Science has solved all the problems of resource scarcity, there is no longer any need for us to work. In the home, nuclear-powered vacuum cleaners do all the housework, and each house has an Electronic Brain in the attic which oversees our lives and makes sure that everything runs smoothly. Our leisure time, which is all of our time, is filled with day trips to Mars and games of 3D-Chess. Sometimes we put on our virtual reality helmets and pretend that we are all fish. There often isn't much call for us to get out of bed. You'd think we would all be fat as Arcturan Blubber Worms.
We are not, because Science is looking out for us and making sure that our muscles are stimulated to burn calories and the Electronic Brain only provides us with just the correct quantity of calories so that we stay at the perfect body size.
Sometimes we look at the Nuclear Hoover and wonder if it would be good to eat. Sometimes we feel crazy hungry and long for the good old days of Day 351 when we could, in principle, eat anything we like.
Science (the Slightly Creepy Institute of Everything Needed for a Cheerful Existence) sometimes thinks we could show a bit more gratitude. 'Didn't we let you have the rocket packs?' it says before going off in a huff muttering to itself. 'It's not like we're making you eat Soylent Green. And even if we are, it's not like Soylent Green really is people.'
Well, day 351 has passed, my friend. And all you squares should get used to the idea that the cool kids of day 350 are not going to let you bring them down.
Vive la revolution, vive day 350!