'Do you know what I hate?' said my Mum yesterday when she came to visit. She had dropped by with a gift for Andy who has a birthday on Monday.
Hmmmm, I thought. I wonder what 'hate of choice' Mum means, because, like most of us, she has a small but meaningful collection. Drivers being in the wrong lane at the Wheatsheaf pub junction, and then cutting her up? Mobility scooters? Grass/ hedges/ weeds growing quicker than she can deal with them?
'Adverts for skin cream,' she said. Mum has a penchant for watching 'Foyle's War' on ITV3 - one of the actors in it is 'rather nice' apparently - but her televisual enjoyment is somewhat spoilt by the constant stream of advertising breaks that happen when you watch commercial TV.
'It's all very well,' she said,'advertising these creams that are supposed to keep the wrinkles at bay, but they use models who don't HAVE any wrinkles to advertise them.'
She's right, of course. I have often thought the same thing. I commiserated by saying that I have noticed a few more lines appearing on my face, and also that it takes a little longer to uncrease itself in the morning. And to demonstrate how my face skin seems to be ever-so-slightly relaxing away my bone structure, I put a hand on either cheek and pushed them up á la ten second face lift. And Mum did the same, and for a few seconds we looked like a right pair of crazy plums, and I think at this point Andy may have laughed.
'Ah,' said Mum, when we had both released our faces back into their natural habitats, 'but I have discovered something that makes my face look better and doesn't involve expensive face creams!'
I looked at her, agog with quizzical anticipation.
'I don't wear my glasses when I look in the bathroom mirror!' she said triumphantly.
Well! There you have it! For a more youthful look to your skin, take off your glasses before you look in the mirror! Of course, those of you who don't wear specs are a bit stuffed and will have to continue facing your creases and wrinkles in all their glory, but for the rest of us, this approach seems a cheap and effective way to go! Good old Mum! You heard it here first.
Popped out to get some sewing accoutrements this morning...
I only went out to get the tracing paper, really, as I'm about to start another summer top but the pattern is in a magazine and I don't want to cut out my size and ruin the other sizes available I so need to trace off the pattern, if you know what I mean, keep up at the back there. But I couldn't resist the button maker because it is a lovely idea, I think, to cover your own buttons with fabric of your choice plus I am also given to understand there is a certainly amount of heavy-handed bashing that goes on in order to make the buttons, a bit like using a hole punch through several pieces of paper all at the same time, an activity I find bizarrely satisfying.
Anyway, whilst we were out I also bought this because it made me smile...
...and there is a perfect space for it in the kitchen. And it was only £6.99 - what a bargain!
At home, I turned it over to attach a fixing wire to the back, and was greeted by this rather over the top set of instructions...
Bit over the top, don't you think?
Well, I thought. I must heed these dire Safety Warnings for I am a girl and I am not a professional picture hanger and I have DEFINITELY not ever in my life attached hundreds of pictures to walls without so much as a nod to my own personal safety. But better be safe than sorry - I mean, I wouldn't want to have to sue anyone for any injury I might be stupid enough to inflict upon my person, would I?
So I called in a top man for the job aka Andy. Being an experienced veterinary surgeon(and a manly man) he knows all about the use of dangerous tools, and also it was a very long time ago that he a) sewed himself to a horse and b) stapled himself to a kitten so would understand the dangers of hanging a picture on a wall.
It was the job of twenty seconds! No blood was shed. I was right to call in the pro!
Right! Enough sarcasm for the day. I have sewing to do.