There are four lovely ladies who regularly leave messages in the Much Malarkey Manor Guest Book (or Comments Box if you want to be impersonal about it). They are Olly and Diana, Deanna and Jessica. They are very unlike the lovely ladies (aka Primrose and Camilla) who live in the garden and leave messages all over the patio. The difference is mostly because I've never had to clean up after Olly, Diana, Deanna and Jessica or boil up pasta for their breakfasts in the Winter because they complain the weather is too cold for layers pellets.
But they are all girls together when it comes to bringing a smile to my day. I mean, if you could see them when they're dust bathing and fluffing up their plumage...
Anyway, before I offend aforesaid lovely ladies by further reference to their toilette habits, and they up with their bags and leave, the focus of my blog today, this glorious sunny First Day of Spring Because Yesterday Was the Vernal Equinox, is Jessica over at the admirable Rusty Duck blog.
Now, I reckon if Jess and I were to ever bump into each other in Real World Land we'd be able to share a cuppa and a slice of cake without too much of a fracas. We'd be able to chat about gardening and wildlife (those squirrels, eh? What larks!!), and living in the countryside, and husbands with various DIY and baking skills, and oh, all sorts of tosh. However, one thing we could never do for the sake of our Blog World Chumminess is to go paint shopping together. This, I am pretty certain, would lead to Blood Orange Red being shed in the aisles before we even reached the checkout.
'Why?' I hear you cry. 'Surely if you can partake of a pot of brew and a chocolate chip and banana/Victoria sponge/Dundee cake together you could purchase a tin of paint in peace?'
Alas, dear friends, no. And I shall tell you why...
"For the grey shall come between us."
I can't quite remember how it all started but I suspect it was probably me having a rant about some TV design programme where everyone seemed obsessed with painting their interiors grey. Dove Grey, Storm Grey, Hint of Whisper Grey - you know the sort of thing. Well, as far as I am concerned you cannot buff up a hen poo and grey is grey no matter what romantic label you put on it. Even Christian. (Have you read 'Fifty Shades of Grey? Seen the film? No, me neither. Waste of time and money I reckon, now the last egg has been poached. And what would it do to my soul, that's what I want to know. Now Jane Austen - she knew what it was all about. Colin Firth, of course!)
And Jess, who is renovating a beautiful cottage (I am NOT jealous at ALL) in the Devon countryside (DEFINITELY not jealous, no way) bantered back about the joy a subtle spot of grey paint can bring to a home. (Did I mention I am NOT jealous one teeny-tiny spot about her living in the Devon countryside in a gorgeous cottage? Good. So long as we've got THAT straight.)
And thus we have been a-bantering ever since, levering references about grey into our conversations, no matter how tenuous the subject matter.
Still, I stand by my view that grey should be confined to pigeons and squirrels, Russian tanks and filing cabinets, and no doubt Jess will stand by her view that grey is...well, nice. And that is good! Because difference is what makes this world a sparkly and amazing place in which to live. Sometimes. Not yesterday because the much awaited with excitement viewing of the eclipse was scuppered here in Kent by the sodding grey clouds...but you know what I mean. Let's embrace diversity!!!
And so, in honour of our grey banter, I have penned a little ditty, especially for you, Jess. It is called 'The Grey Flag' and is to be sung (yes, sung - go on, it rhymes and scans and everything) to the tune of 'The Red Flag.' It is a pastiche. Not a Cornish pastiche. A Devon pastiche, because that's where Jessica is. And the Cornish and Devonians are very territorial about their pastiches.
(Oh, shut up Denise and get on with it...)
The Grey Flag
Oh Rusty Duck, oh Rusty Duck,
How verdant is your garden.
Oh Rusty Duck, oh Rusty Duck,
I hope you'll beg my pardon,
But please don't paint your cottage grey,
No matter what the fashions say.
Please paint it green or even cream
Or purple with a sparkly sheen!