Panic ye not, Malarkey Chums, I am not about to regale you in all their glorious details the events of the last 48 years, 9 months and 18 days of my life. But what I am going to tell you is that today, in between doing a spot of fun writing, and getting in the weekly shop and playing childish games with the cats (except Phoebe for she is beyond childish games with humans) I have been updating my CV. And it has been a right pain, I can tell you.
Andy, you see, has a short and tidy CV. Since leaving university he has been a vet. Full stop. But me? Well, I have been all over the shop, I have, mostly because I am a mum and a housewife and a teacher and a healing channel and oooh, lots of other stuff. My job role hat stand, as you might say, is full of titfers. And also I am in possession of a somewhat indecisive nature regarding what it is exactly I am supposed to be doing with my life a.k.a The Grand Plan.
And although I am pleased to say I have maintained a status of financial stability through all my adult life by bouncing indecisively from one job to another, it means that my CV extends to 4 pages. This is not good. In CV land these days one has to be precise and succinct because employers are FAR too busy these days to be lolloping around in their faux leather swivel chairs reading detailed work histories of middle-aged women. Even when they might be a middle-aged woman themselves.
Some serious pruning was needed. I am good at serious pruning. Just you ask our garden. Once I get a pair of secateurs in my hand some kind of frazzling, red mist derangement of my brain occurs and I do not release the secateurs until pruning has been done, and done good and proper.
Anyway, I hear you ask, why the CV update? Well, says I, I shall tell you. I have decided that I need to get more work in. I have a lovely part-time school job to return to in September, which I enjoy enormously, but I do need to increase my income on top of this. And these are the reasons why:
1) I want to start a savings pot for my 50th birthday celebrations next year. I know what form the celebration is going to take and it is going to cost more than a fifty quid meal a deux at Pizza Express.
2) I have signed up to do a short creative embroidery course at Adult Ed which I suspect may lead me to doing something City and Guilderish and have you seen the cost of a City and Guilds course these days? Cor blimey!
3) I have developed a secret yearning for a new Mini car. This yearning may or may not pass. But just in case it doesn't, well, you know...
4) There were mutterings on the radio this morning about (sssshhhh) an imminent rise in interest rates...
5) ...ergo we want to pay the remnants of our mortgage off as quick as poss. Or at least reduce it so any interest rate rises won't sting as much.
I could probably think of more reasons but these will do for the moment. And how do I intend to increase my earning potential? Apart from selling the cats and putting the chickens on the stage?
I intend to be more proficient in my gleaning of tutoring work because tutoring is what I like doing and have been told I am good at. So, I have beat my CV into submission this morning and it is now 2 and a half pages long (better!) and pretty much ready to be sent off to a variety of employment and tutoring agencies.
Next job is to get some business cards printed, and also purchase a cheap and simple mobile phone strictly for business use only. I have already researched this and have discovered the Nokia 105 which comes in at around a fine English ten pound note and is basically a phone. No frills, bells or whistles. Just a phone. (I have even practised my spiel for when I go bravely forth into The Carphone Warehouse and some 12 year old phone geek of a sales chap tries to sell me frills, bells and whistles. A spiel that goes along the lines of, 'Just GIVE ME THAT PHONE. The blue one. Here's a tenner. Thank YOU!')
I've just thought of another reason...
6) it is time for my two-yearly sight test. I might treat myself to a new pair of specs. I've had my current ones since I worked in Specsavers. May 2000 to September 2001.