Let's get the unpleasantness over with first, shall we? According to some not very nice Labour supporters on Twitter, I am, apparently, southern Tory scum because I voted Conservative. Ah well. I can live with it, you know. Being a shy Tory. Exercising my right to a democratic vote. Better southern Tory scum than a git, as Blackadder would say. I just felt the vitriol was all a bit unnecessary and am glad, therefore, that it's over for another 5 years. Normal Twitter service has been resumed.
For example, yesterday a lovely lady tweeted me to say she really loved the little fairy mouse that is shown on my avatar. I tweeted her back and said if she sent me a direct message with an address I would send her a fairy mouse of her own. She asked how much it would cost. I said it would cost nothing - it would be a random act of kindness. She said how about if she made a donation to charity, then? I said that would be fabulous! So in a few days a little fairy mouse will be heading off to live with this lovely lady in return for a donation to the Nepal Earthquake Appeal. Who'd have thought it of southern Tory scum, eh?
Anyway, I said to Andy this morning, 'I'm going into town - do you want anything?' and he said, 'Toothpaste, please,' which, as it happened, I already had on my list along with shampoo, plant pots and walnuts.
Do you know how many types of toothpaste there are nowadays? None of this scrubbing with a willow twig/ coal dust/ bicarb of soda malarkey anymore. Oh no! Here is a selection of toothpaste that confronted me at the toothpaste shop this morning. The list is not exhaustive.
2) toothpaste with added whitener/ brightener/ diamonds/ pearls
3) toothpaste Plus (plus what? No idea)
4) toothpaste mild/ cool/ extra cool / extra smooth with nachos
5) toothpaste zingy/ spearmint/ Royal Mint/ Polo mint/ chocolate mint sundae
6) toothpaste to take the skin off your enamel with extra minty bleach
7) ultra- toothpaste (scientific)
8) ultra-toothpaste Plus (ultra-scientific)
9) fishpaste toothpaste (for cats)
10) toothpaste with miniature pearl cleansing balls (honest!)
11) toothpaste 3 stage dental care
12) toothpaste 7 stage dental care
13) toothpaste á la fricasée
14) toothpaste cavity care/ gum care/ crevice care/ crevice nozzle/ tongue scraper
15) toothpaste Kerpow!
16) toothpaste for extra confidence and added security with non-slip grip strip
I tell you, it's a toothpaste minefield out there! I just grabbed a tube and ran. Well, I didn't actually run. I am beyond being induced to run. Save for being pursued by a bear maybe.
Then I went to visit my Auntie Pollie who has a birthday coming up. She was doing some baking when I arrived so I did the washing up for her and then we had tea and flapjack. And then she showed me around her garden. Auntie Pollie runs a good garden - flowers, fruit, vegetables - and so inspired was I that when I got home I spent 3 hours in our garden, weeding, pruning, potting on tomatoes and strawberries, planting out the courgettes, cucumbers and runner beans into their final growing places, sorting out the flower tubs and hanging baskets, rearranging the space in the greenhouse to accommodate the gazillion pots of chilli peppers, aubergines and tomatoes that we have.
And now I am pooped! But it has been a good and satisfying day. I hope all my little veg plants will do well. Especially as I have had to lever them into some pretty squashed spaces in our garden. It was desperate by the end of my gardening spree - if I saw a space, I planted something there. Monty Don would've had conniptions if he saw me.
And thus ends today's news from this happy piece of southern Tory scum!
Over and out, goodnight to you all!